Demon or My Child : Week 3 Story
I can remember like yesterday, it was the happiest day of my husband and I lives. We had our first child March 13th, 2002. Her name is Mahleeyha Calvert. As a baby she was the sweetest. I can remember every morning I would walk into her room and she would have the biggest smile on her face holding onto the side of her crib waiting for me. I swear he smile was brighter than the sun shinning on California. I treasure those days because recently she's been acting like a completely different child. It scares me. It is almost like something has possessed her.
I came home after work as usual and I could hear a weird tapping noise and a random scream. I ran to her room thinking someone was hurting her but she spasming out and shaking her head furiously while tapping on the window by her bed. I was shook. I did not know if I need to hold her or run. She turned around abruptly and I could see my little girl in her eyes. She then ran past me, down the stairs and went outside. She grabbed the hammer that was left on the porch from the other night. She began to beat our dog to death with the hammer. Not far from the porch. I yelled "Mahleeyha Stop! Stop!!" She turned and looked at me and snapped out of it.
I came home after work as usual and I could hear a weird tapping noise and a random scream. I ran to her room thinking someone was hurting her but she spasming out and shaking her head furiously while tapping on the window by her bed. I was shook. I did not know if I need to hold her or run. She turned around abruptly and I could see my little girl in her eyes. She then ran past me, down the stairs and went outside. She grabbed the hammer that was left on the porch from the other night. She began to beat our dog to death with the hammer. Not far from the porch. I yelled "Mahleeyha Stop! Stop!!" She turned and looked at me and snapped out of it.
I placed my hands on her and began to pray for her to be pure again. God appeared next to our dog. When she saw him, she ran and fell on her knees in front of him. She yelled at the top of her voice, " What do you want with me, God, the Most High? I don't want to be cursed!" God then said, " Come out of this young girl, impure spirit!"
There was a crowd of crows down by the mail box. The demons begged God, "Send us among the crows; allow us to go into them." God allowed the demons to flee and go into the crows. The crows began to peck at each other and they flew around as if they went mad. They flew straight into the house and killed themselves.
I could not believe my eyes. I never thought I would see anything like this. I was relieved at the same time. However, I knew my husband would not believe me when I tell him what happened. He has never been a religious person. God began to walk down the drive way and Mahleeyah begged to go with him. He said, " You have to stay, go and tell your father what happened! Tell him how good God has been to you!"
Authors Note:
This story is from the Gospel of Mark unit. It is based off of the King James Bible (1611), Mark chapter 5. I kept the story line mostly the same. I changed the characters and how the animals were possessed. In the original story the demons possessed pigs and the pigs ran into a lake and killed themselves. The people of the town doubted God so when God was leaving the demon possessed man he told him he had to stay and tell the people of the town how good God has been to him. In my story I chose my husband to take the place of the people. The demon left my daughter just like the demon left the man in the original story.
Hey Taylor,
ReplyDeleteI loved reading your story along with the picture from The Orphan i believe you did a good job capturing the Gospel of Mark in a creative way. It reminds me of an experience i witnessed at church camp 7 years ago with a man being possessed and after being prayed for, the demon left him. I like the characters you used along with the imagery that the story paints in the reader's head....I think you did a wonderful job!
Hi Taylor, nice story! I like the dark details you added for the actions of the child and the crows. I wonder if more details about the demon could be added, why would a demon ask god for help? was the demon evil? because it almost seems like it didn't want to be in the child. A demon backstory would be really neat. Or a twist could be that it was trying to get into the mother when the child got in the way, and it couldn't handle the pure innocence of the child.
ReplyDeleteHello Taylor! I really enjoyed reading your story. The detail that you put into the story was really great and kept my interest throughout the whole story. Some even gave me some chills. The gif that you used in the story actually really helped to add to the mood of the story. Overall I really enjoyed your story, keep it up!
ReplyDeleteHi Taylor! I really enjoyed that you chose to write this story in a present day setting. The darker symbols like the crows and the child spasming were really good ways of describing and hinting that the child was possessed by a demon. The descriptive writing was very good in the beginning of the story when you described the babies smile. Also, that gif of the orphan fits perfectly with the story! In this story and the original story in the Gospel of Mark, I have always wondered why the demon begs to be put into the crows (or pigs) and then immediately kills the animals? Also, was there more than one demon that was possessing the child? One other thing I was wondering was is the dog okay? One thing that you could add is maybe why God decided to let the spirits go into the crows instead of just casting them away.
ReplyDeleteHey Taylor!
ReplyDeleteI LOVED this story. I have always been fascinated by the darker - more horror stories. This was captivating from the first sentence and would have really liked it to have been longer. The dark details and the gif usage was really great.
I was wondering if you thought about clarifying it more, giving more details as to the 'possession' or when exactly it started happening? I was a little confused about that (maybe because it is late) but I was a tad confused by it.
One suggestion would be to take this idea and run with it! I am not sure what you are doing for the final project but I would love to see where you could take this. I really enjoyed your writing style and think you could definitely make this something super cool!
Taylor, this could totally be the plot of a horror short film! Because it is such a graphic and intense scene and the series of events unravels so quickly, I think that this would be the perfect story to load up with creepy details that help us more clearly visualize the scene and it would be really cool to set a more eerie feeling for your readers. I would love to see details that emphasize how creepily Mahleeyha was acting. I think it would interesting for the mother to see off the bat that her daughter was not acting like herself or that she could sense something's wrong. Great job!
ReplyDeleteHi Taylor! Great recreation to the original story! I liked how you kept to the original tone of the story, which focuses around doubting the existence of God. I don’t like scary things, but this was a good mix of scary and a teaching moment. Great job and keep up the good work! I’m looking forward to reading more of your stories.
ReplyDeleteHi Taylor,
ReplyDeleteThis is a very interesting and creepy story. I can practically imagine the moment when the mother sees her child in the room, shaking her head and tapping on the window...that would freak me out. I like the GIF that you used from the movie Orphan, that is exactly who I picture when reading your story. I like that you changed the fact that the crows get possessed and fly into the house in place of the pigs drowning. Either way, animals spazzing out like that creates a dark and eerie picture in my mind's eye.
I was curious as to why you chose to have your husband and daughter portray these characters?