Taylor’s Introduction !
Hello bloggers! My name is Taylor Calvert and I am a senior in the College of Arts and Sciences. My majors are General Science, Pre-Pharmacy and a Spanish minor. The coolest thing about my major is I am learning about the human body everyday. I personally think everyone needs to know more about the human body to properly take care of themselves. The cool thing about having a Spanish minor is being able to communicate with a larger audience. The best class I took when considering science is Human Anatomy because I learned so much about the human body hands on. I was grateful to have the opportunity to work on a cadaver, to see what the inside of our bodies really look like. I absolutely love to cook and to garden in my spare time! Ever since I was a little girl I have always loved flowers. My grandmother and I would always spend time gardening together. My favorite flowers are Hibiscus flowers and Roses. Both of these flowers have a wonderful fragrance. Outside of gardening you ...
Hi Taylor! Your theme for your project is awesome, and I love your dedication to it. Your introduction was great and set you up to easily introduce other characters with out any confusion. Your first story "The Day I Envied Squidward" was quite clever. I had also read "The Ox who Envied the Pig", so props to you for coming up with a story from it! I sometimes have a difficult time morphing a story into something I want to write about, but you did so in a smooth manner, so nice job! One thing I did notice was a small typo, you seem to be missing a word near the end of this sentence "Last week, we went jelly fishing and we raced Barnacle Boy and Mermaid-Man mobile." Also, in your first story you have some short, almost statement like sentences, maybe expand on those or combine a few to make the story flow even better. Nice job!
ReplyDeleteHi Taylor! I cannot tell you how excited I got when I saw your portfolio theme. I can tell you are putting a lot of thought and effort into your project, and it is so creative to have Spongebob's picture as the link to your comment wall. You introduced Mr. Krab, but you did not have him involved in the story. You could have him come out and ask Spongebob if something is wrong and that would be your chance to expand on why he was afraid to bring it up to Mr. Krab in the first place and also show that he is longer upset about the tips! I also noticed a typo in the second to last paragraph where you spelled Squidward's name with a space in between. Overall your story was really fun and I can't wait to see what other secrets Spongebob has tucked away in his diary!
ReplyDeleteHi Taylor!
ReplyDeleteVery interesting subject for a story! Don't get me wrong I am a huge Spongebob fan so I was very excited about your story! I think it is very creative that you took one of the stories we read and made it into a Spongebob story.
Your details are great for those you may have never seen the show or do not know the characters as well.
I like that you added videos to your pages so we can more visually see what you are telling us.
I think your images are great as well!
One thing though, if you are trying to keep it similar to the real characters then it should be Mr. Krabs with an S at the end. Krusty Krab remains without an S but the character Mr. Krabs has an S!
Otherwise, good job and I really look forward to learning the secrets of Bikini Bottom!
Hey Taylor!
ReplyDeleteWhat a fun storybook! I especially liked the addition of the theme song to the introduction and the video to the story too! I can tell you are having a good time with this assignment! You are doing a great job so far but one thought I had was it could be cool to do stories for different characters going forward. It could still be from Spongebob’s perspective but just centered on Sandy or Patrick. I think that Spongebob’s friends are such an important part of all the TV show’s stories so their addition to yours could help bring the original more into your story. Also, I feel like the TV show often centered on lessons so the use of Jakata Tales for your Mythology-Folklore part was smart, and using different tales like that will be easy to work in, in the future. I cannot wait to read more!
Hi Taylor!
ReplyDeleteJust seeing the title for your storybook made me smile! I remember watching Sponge-bob every day when I was younger, it was one of my favorite shows! The Introduction is amazing! I could hear Sponge-bob saying the words as I read them. Also, I like how you gave a quick introduction to all the characters and alluded to some of the things about them that might be in Sponge-bob’s diary. I think it’s very cool that you add the videos with every story and that you tied in the dumpster video with story one.
In story one, I found it a little confusing to read the dialogue. I wonder if it might help to separate them out and create a new paragraph every time the speaker changes? Also, was there any specific reason that Sponge-bob decided to go for his run at night that night? Or was he just feeling the run at that time? I really enjoyed your story and I can’t wait to keep reading!
Hey Taylor! I love that you're doing your storybook over a show that so many of us are familiar with! I just read your Secret # One story and I was so excited to read a backstory on Spongebob and how his career at the Krusty Krab started. I like how we get to see Spongebob change over the course of the story, as he learns to be thankful for the things that he has and appreciative of what Squidward does for the story. Because the story is about Squidward, I think that this story could be even better if we heard more from him and learned more about his and Spongebob's relationship. One question I had was: why did Squidward go out of his way to clean the dumpster even if he was angry about the fact that he had to do it? Maybe you can give a glimpse into the fact that Squidward is just as passionate about his job as Spongebob is even if he might not show it!
ReplyDeleteHey Taylor,
ReplyDeleteI like how you're taking the lessons from long-told stories and spinning them into an almost fan-fiction setting. This kind of writing is the kind that can target any audience, because of the character you use: Spongebob! It may not be far from the truth to say that every person in the world knows this character's name and face at this point, so using him to retell stories might just be a stroke of brilliance!
One really nice thing too about using a popular character who has been around for so long is that he has done just about everything that he can throughout his many seasons of air time, but there is no reason you can't rewrite similar versions to fit your needs. But in that also lies a challenge. There may be stories you wish to rewrite because of an underlying theme or moral, where Nickelodeon has already done the same thing on TV. So it could be that you may have to pick and choose your stories sometime. Other than that, I don't think you will struggle at all with this theme, and I think it's really cool and interesting! I look forward to seeing what you do with it in the future!
Hello Taylor,
ReplyDeleteI was hooked by your title because of how much I, and probably like most people, love Spongebob. Plankton and Squidward are my favorite characters. I routinely watch Spongebob to help me fall asleep and in the morning when I drink my coffee. I think taking this approach is very unique and fun! I think your Introduction does a great job of setting up your story and introducing your characters. Spongebob having a diary is a great idea. I like seeing this side of him because typically he hardly ever has a bone to pick with anyone. Something else that I like is how you have the videos embedded into your pages. It is helpful for those who are not familiar with Spongebob, but it is also pleasant to watch little clips that you tied into your story. One suggestion I have is that I spotted a few grammatical errors throughout. I struggle with grammar on my stories/posts, but I find this grammar checking tool quite helpful. Here is the link: https://www.polishmywriting.com/
I really look forward to reading your additions in the next couple of weeks.
~Madi Reynolds
Hey Madi!
DeleteThank you for the feed back and I really appreciate the link you attached ! Have a greta thanks giving !
Hi Taylor! Your Introduction is great! It definitely made me laugh and reminisce on my childhood when I constantly watched Spongebob. I also love the cover pictures you have chosen for each of your pages. I only have a few suggestions, which are only grammar issues. In the Introduction, when you are introducing Sandy, change “live in a tree” to “lives in a tree”. In your first story, remove the comma from the sentence “it is my duty to cut all the vegetables, and prep the food.” You don’t need that comma after vegetables. Remove the comma after “How is it, that I only get $11.00 an hour…” You have a great idea for the first story! I liked how you are writing it as a diary and then how it is turned into a learning lesson! I love your idea for this storybook and I can’t wait to read more about Spongebob’s secrets!
ReplyDeleteHey Taylor! I just read your Secret #2 story and I loved how Spongebob turned himself into a coral tree. I think it would be cool if you included details that helped us visualize how Spongebob made himself look like coral by maybe squeezing all of the water out of himself and making himself as dense as possible. I also think it would add to the flow of the story if there was a reason why Plankton changed his mind on thinking that the coral tree wasn't Spongebob, such as Sandy trying to convince him that Spongebob couldn't make it to the game that day because he got called into a shift at the Krusty Krab. One last suggestion is maybe including more details about the scene where Plankton's father rises from the ground to curse Spongebob. Maybe you make it more known to your readers that Plankton's father had passed and that instead of rising from the ground, he rose from his burial site so we can get an understanding of his presence in the afterlife
ReplyDeleteHi, Taylor! First off, I have to say that I absolutely love the layout and design of your website! It is so fun and creative and like nothing I have seen before! I would have never thought of making this project into something as common and as modern as SpongeBob! The pictures and the colors are so fun and exciting and it's really interesting to look at! I think making the design and concept of your project based off of SpongeBob makes it more relatable to the readers as well as adding a concept of fun. I love that the titles of the stories are just "Secret #1" and "Secret #2", I think that adds a nice bit of mystery instead of just having the title be a giveaway to the story itself. Since you chose SpongeBob as your idea, it is really easy for your readers to visualize the settings and the characters since almost everyone has seen Spongebob at some point! Overall, I think you are doing wonderful and I look forward to reading more from you soon!
ReplyDeleteHi Taylor, first off I wanted to say I really like how your storybook layout is! The large font at the top of each story and the clean white reminds me of a newspaper spread or something. Throughout the stories, I thought you showcased Spongebob's personality very well. I could read his excitement and even in his other thoughts that were more serious, I could still imagine the cheery, kind-hearted sponge. I thought it was interesting to read Spongebob's secrets, particularly the one where he was jealous of Squidward, who knew? I also thought your last story was very dramatic and well-written. Did Mr. Krabs actually give his father the secret recipe though?
ReplyDeleteHey Taylor. I never would've thought I would read a Bikini Bottom story and feel bad after it. It was really sad to hear about how Squidward had to clean the dumpster every night. I like how you made Spongebob a little mad about how he didn't get any tips but Squidward did which made him jealous until he found out that Squidward had to stick around to do all these things. You really don't know what another person's life is or what they are doing in their life until you see it for yourself. Also the story about how Plankton died was very different from anything that was on the show but really close to the original story. It was cool how you made these characters reenact that story because it showed them in a different light. Also how you made the most selfish character in the show, Mr. Krabs, become so selfless to save Spongebob was nice.
ReplyDeleteHey there Taylor! I remember reading your first Spongebob story at the beginning of the semester and I love that you decided to go with an entire Spongebob theme! The layout is clear and concise, with a great color scheme that makes it approachable for readers of all ages! I love that you took it first person and decided to play the role of Spongebob telling the stories. I think I just have a one question about how the stories are told. You said this these secrets are from his diary so do you think dating each secret being told would help with bringing that idea to life? You already add so much creativity attaching snippet videos and music into each page of your site, so it's not something super drastic if you did or did not make the change! I also think in your second story that its hilarious that you put the great flood underwater. Even in the show they had several occasions of showing spillage, beaches, and other forms of liquid that had its own similar presence to it's land equivalent regardless of the water. It was hilarious to me that you kept with that practice as the show does! I can't wait to see if you add any more stories later on c:
ReplyDeleteAww you are absolutely right about the dates. That would be a great touch considering I am aiming for a diary theme! Thank you for the great feedback !
DeleteHaha Ioved your banner image on the first story. Wham! Spongebob's face lol. I liked reading your stories but I feel like you could add a little more excitement in them. Especially since Spongebob is the narrator. Also, I would carefully reread your stories, because you have quite a few mistakes with wording. One recurring mistake was calling Mr. Krabs "Mr. Krab." A couple other examples are when you said "I heard some sound noises coming from the Krusty Krab" and "the inside of the trash dumpster." If you're talking about hearing noises, then we know they're sounds. It's the same thing with the dumpster. As I said those were only a couple examples so make sure you go back and carefully reread. Other than that, I really enjoyed your stories and your idea is very unique!
ReplyDeleteHey Taylor! I'm absolutely thrilled that you went with the Spongebob theme for your project. I can remember going home after school every day when I was younger and turning the channel immediately to Nickelodeon (I was also a big Nick GAS fan, but I'm not sure if many people even knew it existed at this point). I liked the first story with how it shows a side of Spongebob where he isn't always the most excited person in the world. I've always known he thought highly of Squidward, but I hadn't realized that he was envious of him, even though it makes sense now that I think about it. I'm also sad that we lost Gary in the second story, as I know how important he was to Spongebob. Maybe we can be reintroduced to Rex the Worm as a replacement pet. I also can't believe that Mr. Krabs would give up the formula in order to stop the flood! Overall, I'm so excited to see what other secrets we learn. You did a fantastic job incorporating Spongebob into these stories, keep it up!
ReplyDeleteHi Taylor!
ReplyDeleteWhen I saw the title of your storybook I had to read it cause for one, I love Spongebob and two, I was very interested to see how you incorporated mythology/folklore into Spongebob. I liked how you decided to tell really and truly how Spongebob feels about things and acts the way he does cause in the actual show we don't necessarily get those thoughts. Also I enjoyed how you added in the links to certain scenes that you were referencing. This helps give those who have not seen the show an idea of what things look like...good job! However on the down side, I felt the the stories are a little choppy and that they don't flow all too smoothly. I was a little confused with the "Secret #2". By just reading your first paragraph and the title I thought this was going to be a story about how Gary died, but yet it turned out to be about the secret formula.
Hello, Taylor!
ReplyDeleteI just finished reading Secret #Two: The Great Flood. I like how you kept with the theme of Plankton incessantly devising a plan to steal the secret Krabby Patty formula. Although it was sad to read, I thought that you sharing that Plankton killed Gary was a great way to start off your story. Also, I can picture Spongebob gathering all of his friends to seek revenge. What a great way to add suspense and imagery!
One thing that I could suggest is to give a little more information about how Plankton and his group killed Gary. It is a little unclear what type of group the Bears and Plankton are. In your author's note, you describe the connection to your story very well, which does clear some things up. However, it would help build the story up if you introduced Plankton and the Sea Bears possibly as an outlaw group that terrorizes the town, something to help the reader better understand just how evil the group is.
Hi Taylor,
ReplyDeleteI loved the stories I just read. I loved how you were able to take something innocent and sweet and put a sorrowful twist on one story and on the other a dark twist with murder throughout. There are some things you could add to both of your stories. Even thought the character you had used are iconic to some of use there may still be people who do not know the show its self. You could put in character description for some of the characters. You should say that Gary was SpongeBob’s pet snail and is pink. You should say that plankton is a small and green plankton and so on. Something that is confusing in the second story for me is that you say the town is flooded but they are already underwater. You could a detail and say the sludge from goon lagoon is flooding the town in some way. Otherwise great stories. Keep it up.
Hi Taylor. I don't know how I am just now seeing your storybook because it is such a fun idea. I love how you used story from the class and turned them into a story from Spongebob. That is so creative. The only thing I noticed is that you said Bikni bottom in the introduction instead of Bikini Bottom. That may have been on purpose to change it but I wasn't sure. I also thought it was a great idea to add video clips to your pages. This is such a fun idea and you did a great job!
ReplyDeleteHi Taylor!
ReplyDeleteI looked at your project towards the beginning of the year. It was really fun to come back and look at the improvements and additions you have made since! I still think this idea is so creative and fun. Most people did not add videos to their projects but they fit in perfectly for yours. I did notice the same spelling error that Kaylee pointed out in the introduction. While some people are very familiar with the characters and plots of spongebob, others may not be. I think adding a little more detail especially about characters and their motives could really help readers understand it better. I think story #2 is very sad. Gary dying was not something I expected but it made for an interesting read. Overall I think you have a great idea and it just needs a little extra detail to make it great! Good luck on the last few weeks!
Hello Taylor, I am back again! This time I am reading your final story! Gosh darn, I love Spongebob way too much and your story only allows me to indulge in my addiction a little bit more. I like how you begin your story, your description made me hungry! I have always wanted to try jellyfish jelly! I love the idea of him skateboarding! Oh, and now I see that he, Patrick, and Sandy are young! I also enjoy the idea of ditching school, Sandy would definitely be the instigator of that! I think that you did a great job developing your story from Mr. Miacca. The ending was wonderfully comical, I cringe at the image of Spongebob running naked with an apple in his mouth. In the second to last line there is an extra word, 'out,' but it is minor and does not take away from your brilliant story!
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